heart goes boom. beautiful drawing by a lovely person on hitrecord.org. funny how easily the heart decides to change its mind. not that mine has. but i was just thinking... just how easy it is for it to suddenly. change. while at the same time. its funny how stubborn the heart can be... how it seems to have a mind of its own. not that mine does either. i hope.here's a little poem thing or just some words spread out in a particular way that i wrote sometime last year till nowin amongst all the confusion of the flurry of emotions at the time. its been tweaked with words added and taken away, all depending on how i was feeling at the time of writing. i've always had a dislike for love.love.what is it anyway?the only reason we have all thesedamn confusing feelingsis because of our damned hormonestelling us toreproducefor the sake of survival.i know.when i yearnfor love,i yearn to experiencethat first kiss.that second kiss.that hundredth kiss.but what can i dowhen i cant evengetthat firstas much as i want to.i just cant seem to.part of meis still not ready.ready to leave this securitymy comfort zonethere is simplytoo muchto lose.the thing aboutrelationshipsis that they strip you downto your corestrip down all your shieldsand guards that you put upyour soft, pulsating insidesexposedthey.become your clothesand in turn.you.there's.but at the same timeyou are still left standing therenaked and vulnerablevulnerablesusceptible to painno shieldsno masksto further hide behindthe pain is pureand excruciatingly trueand there's nothingyou can doexcept toaccept it allwhole heartedlylove.there's nothingyou can doto stop it.

beautiful drawing by a lovely person on hitrecord.org.

funny how easily the heart decides to change its mind.
not that mine has.
but i was just thinking...
just how easy it is for it to suddenly. change.

while at the same time.
its funny how stubborn the heart can be...
how it seems to have a mind of its own.
not that mine does either.
i hope.

here's a little poem thing or just some words spread out in a particular way that i wrote sometime last year till now
in amongst all the confusion of the flurry of emotions at the time. its been tweaked with words added and taken away, all depending on how i was feeling at the time of writing.

i've always had a dislike for love.
love.
what is it anyway?
the only reason we have all these
damn confusing feelings
is because of our damned hormones
telling us to
reproduce
for the sake of survival.
i know.

when i yearn
for love,
i yearn to experience
that first kiss.
that second kiss.
that hundredth kiss.
but what can i do
when i cant even
get
that first
as much as i want to.
i just cant seem to.
part of me
is still not ready.
ready to leave this security
my comfort zone
there is simply
too much
to lose.

the thing about
relationships
is that they strip you down
to your core
strip down all your shields
and guards that you put up
your soft, pulsating insides
exposed

they.
become your clothes
and in turn.
you.
there's.
but at the same time
you are still left standing there
naked and vulnerable
vulnerable
susceptible to pain
no shields
no masks
to further hide behind
the pain is pure
and excruciatingly true
and there's nothing
you can do
except to
accept it all
whole heartedly

love.

there's nothing
you can do
to stop it.