a while back i was going to do a post about my life.
as it was back then.
what made it so significant was that
back then.
at that moment in time.
i was...
happy.
things were going well for me.
i was getting excellence for all my grades..
then there was that prize giving dinner...
there were no complications in life.
and i was ...
happy with myself.
but alas...
my inner pessimist was never far away.
as i constantly thought that...
perhaps.
i was too happy.
you know as they say...
you can never have too much of a good thing...
as paranoid as it sounds..
i was constantly thinking that.
this.
this happiness.
was soon going to be replaced by something.
horrible...
you know.
to balance things out.
soon i began to dread the happiness that i felt..
i just kept thinking that the greater my happiness was...
the higher i was....
the harder i was going to fall...
i was destroying myself with this paranoia...
so finally.
for a while...i decided to ignore it..
hoping that i hadn't jinxed myself.
from thinking so negatively..
i mean.
why cant someone be happy and not pay any consequence?
and i've been contented with life...
until today.
here i was... having a pretty good day.
i had a maths exam that went reasonably well.
i played an alright squash game.
and monday's meant my favourite tv shows were on...
but of course as i've learnt the hard way.. again and again...
good things never last long.
...
i lost my cellphone
...
sigh.
i don't even have the energy to describe what im feeling right now....
i've called everyone and everything i could possibly call.
done everything... i could possibly.
...
all i can do is hope.
...
but really.
what is the point in hoping?
i mean, you're just building yourself up
to only be hurt even more.
so maybe i should just act as if its gone already.
that theres no way i could possibly get it back.
that everything on my phone... is as good as lost.
but isn't it funny though.
how incompetent i feel... without a phone.
since when had i become so dependent on this small electronic object?
oh god.
....
happy thoughts.
happy thoughts...
...
oh fuck it.
5 comments:
i lost my magic cards
hahahaha..
....
im sorry man.
hope you find them soon.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I really am.
He was such a good phone and will forever hold his place in our hearts.
Everyone,
I think a moment of silence is in order.
Gather your family and bow your heads together.
This is a sad sad day..
...for her 'emergency money'.
How'd you manage to text me then...?
DID YOU FIND IT?
It actually is possible to be happy without paying consequences. Be an optimist ^^
Sometimes bad things just happen and it's God testing you.
lol u sound like how i feel most of the time...maybe if i started a blog it wud be 2 depressing.....
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