strange tendencies...

one thing i've realised about myself recently, is that while i'm up late doing homework and such, i have a strange tendency...
to talk to myself.
and to make it worse, i do so in a horrible, horrible british accent.
half the time i don't even realise i'm doing so until i suddenly hear myself.
i mean, i've always this tendency to talk to myself. but it seems, that as the years go by, and as i gradually become more and more stressed, i tend to talk myself more frequently.
it would begin as simply voicing out loud my thoughts
to me having a full conversation...with myself.
its quite.. strange, i know. even for me.
but its just, one of those habits that seem to have evolved into a life of its own...

although really.
the british accent?
maybe its because of my secret admiration for the british accent, or maybe i've just been watching too much skins...
but it feels like, while im talking in this accent, i feel like another person.
almost like an alter ego of some sort.
maybe i have a multiple personality disorder..
would a person know if they had multiple personality disorder?
all of this is too strange really.

as much as i would like to keep rambling.
i realise it is almost 3am. and i have an english internal to do tomorrow morning...
i guess 5 hours of sleep it is..

all thanks to the holidays..

im finally updating this.
because...
i just realised how many people out there do actually read my blog
and *sniff* even if you guys just read it out of boredom.
i am. touched.
seriously.
i love you guys. *sniff*

anyways.
even though i haven't been blogging...physically.
i've always been thinking about blogging.

for instance... i'd be on the bus... and i'd see something interesting and think "ooo that'd be something to blog about"
and this would happen constantly throughout the week.
i'd have all these great ideas to share with people..
but i guess. i just never got around to doing it..

another problem is.
i used to kind of use this blog as a mental release...
but now that its become a bit more well known..
its slightly put me off writing more about my personal life on here..
well. because.
someone might read it.
which i guess is the point..
but...its different...
i dont think im quite... ready. to become another one of those people that simply "broadcast" their lives to the world..
i'd rather not have some 40 year old in some country living through me vicariously..
at least not quite yet.
so for now.. i'll leave a bit of ambiguity to my blog.

so speaking of personal life.
one thing i am willing to share.
and painfully gush about.
is korean dramas.
oh lord.
this is worst than the time i watched boys over flowers.
which took me 3 days to watch about 24 episodes..
now.
i've watch 3 drama's. 18 episodes each.
within 6 days...
do the maths.
...
minus 5-6 hours of sleep.
that basically equals to..
me having no life. :D
which can be fun. until life eventually comes knocking on your door. asking for a refund for the wasted hours.

i dont know how it happened really.
one minute wenyu asks me to watch some drama she watched in china.
next thing you know. im laughing and crying like i have bipolar.
my grandma would walk past my room every time and simply stare.
and mutter under her breath. "she's finally gone crazy.."
while my parents would simply nod and sigh.
they're all too familiar to my korean drama phases.
although usually. it wouldn't be for this long.
and this many...

for some reason.
after the first drama.
i couldn't stop.
i was addicted.
i needed more.
watching these dramas finally seemed to quench my inner thirst... for...something or rather. which im not quite sure what it is. but was something that definitely needed quenching.
actually..
now that i think about it...
it filled an empty void.
this void of longing that i had in my heart.
perhaps created from the lack of substance.. or to put it more specifically. the lack of...a guy to distract me from life.
sigh.
its silly to want something like that right now.
well i mean.
not that i cant. or shouldn't really..
im a seventeen year old girl. hormones have kicked in.
of course i can. and should.
but
realistically?
with school and this transition of being a teenager to an adult and such.
i really cant be bothered to let myself become emotionally drained by something as trivial as a guy.
which goes against everything really.
because.
no matter what. im still gonna want a guy...
and i guess.
really, im using life as an excuse not to get one.
ah.. but still.
just thinking about this is emotionally draining.

which i guess is why i love korean drama's.
you give your hearts to the drama's.
and they in turn. love you back.
you throw yourself into the main characters lives... and live vicariously through them.
and although its temporary..
it satisfies the inner need. to find a guy.

plus.
i highly doubt i could find one to live up to my expectations now a days.
thanks to the drama's.
oh well.
there has to be consequences.

anyways.
this turned out to be another seemingly useless ramble about... nothing.
and all this talk about not broadcasting my life. has been pretty much thrown out the window...
well.. part of my life anyways.

sigh.
im gonna go watch another drama.

A short summary of my lovely drama's.
which i recommend to all!! XD

Delightful/Sassy Girl Choon Hyang
boy meets girl, boy gets drunk and sleeps in the same bed as girl, which in turn results in the boy and girl having to get married to save their reputations...while they're still in high school.
lots of comedy and romance.

My Girl
boy meets girl after nearly hitting girl. girl tries to rip guy off. guy then decides to use girl and her swindling skills to pretend to be his long lost cousin for the sake of his dying grandpa. who miraculously recovers, resulting in the girl having to possibly pretend to be his cousin forever. then he starts to fall for girl.

Coffee Prince
Guy meets a guy, who is actually a girl pretending to be a guy... well already half looks like one because of her tomboy ways. anyways. guy meets guy who is a girl pretending to be a guy so she can keep her job at the coffee prince. creating problems when the guy starts to fall for the girl who he thinks is a guy. lol.

Shining Inheritance
lol the next drama im planning to watch.
not sure what its about yet.
something about the girl becoming a cinderella type girl. and her and the main guy hating each other.
ah. love hate relationships are the best.